Leeks and Leaks.

I was dispatched to the plot a couple of weeks back by Mrs N, to see if there were any leeks ready yet, to make her delicious leek and potato soup.

To my delight, there were some big enough, and I'd just started to lift them when it started to rain. Not just any old rain, but M&S rain, the type that marinates and saturates you to the skin.

The leeks, on a sunny day.

It was ok though, as I have a shed, not just any old shed, but a B&Q shed, from that place where you buy something then have to queue for ages to pay for it!

In the shed is a folding canvas chair, not just any old...........no I won’t do it again, I promise........so I decided to sit it out. But I hadn’t noticed the chair was wet, from one of a few leaks that have recently appeared  in the shed roof, that I haven't got round to fixing.

All was well for while, and I entertained myself  watching others scurrying around the site, who haven’t got sheds, get thoroughly soaked. They are cheap enough at B&Q  after all, so it serves them right, skinflints!

Then slowly an awareness of dampness crept in down below, as the wetness from the chair infused the three layers of clothing I had on, right through to underpants. I’d given up going commando a while ago, after the thistle incident, but that’s another story.

For a moment I seriously thought I’d reached that age we all dread, until I realised what had happened, and with a sigh of relief ventured out, seeing as the rain was stopping, to carry on what I was doing.

Very soon however,  the increasing discomfort  forced me to pack in and head home before a testicular form of trenchfoot set in, trenchcrutch I think it’s called.

“Have you got any leeks then ?”, she asked, as I entered the kitchen, walking like the geriatric incontinent I thought I’d become earlier.

“Leeks? Oh I’ve got leaks alright”, I said, “ Loads of ‘em, in that bloody shed roof !”.

P.S.
I was reminded of this incident the other day, when I spotted these in the local supermarket. Don't know how you would use them, but it's enough to bring tears to a man's eyes just thinking about it !