50 Shades of Shed.

I recently repainted the allotment shed, and with these new wood treatments now being available in such a range of bright colours, gone are the days of painting your shed in either dark or light creosote. The world is now your rainbow, and you can be as flamboyant as you wish. But what does your choice of shed colour possibly say about you?

There's 54 actually.

Quite a few of these colours, from a big company's ‘Shades’ range, I think would match  some of the characters down at the allotment site.

For instance there’s :-

OLD ENGLISH GREEN  - A nice chap who’s getting on a bit, with a well to do accent and likes cricket.

SOMERSET GREEN - Re-cycles his many empty plastic cider bottles as miniature cloches.

WILLOW - Always borrowing something or other, and never brings it back.

WILD THYME - She’s the life and soul of the annual on-site barbecue.

PURPLE PANSY -  Not afraid to show his feminine side.

MUTED CLAY -  Keeps himself to himself, and never seems to move much from his deckchair.

BARLEY WOOD  - Would she? Can you introduce me please.

FRESH ROSEMARY - Has a bit of a personal hygiene problem.

SEA GRASS - Will smoke it.

FOREST MUSHROOM - A friend of Sea Grass.

FORGET ME NOT -  Seldom remembers to turn the site water tap off.

PALE JASMINE -  Doesn’t grow brassicas and should, because she’s obviously lacking iron in her diet.

HOLLY - Prickly old b*gger with red pimples on his nose.

COASTAL MIST - Can be seen to drift in and out a few times around early summer, then you don’t see him for the rest of the year.

JUNGLE LAGOON - Has what was once an ornamental pond, that’s now covered in blanket weed .

DEEP RUSSET - Forever hoisting his baggy trousers up. Oh sorry! I thought it said gusset.

“And what about Tom Netall, what has he picked ?", you may be wondering.

Well it’s SEASONED OAK for me (that’s Dark Brown by the way) - Stoic and not one for showiness, but obviously a tight old sod, as that was the one reduced down at the local DIY store!