Season of Fumes and Awful Noisiness

They were definitely biting at the bit the other morning down at the site, and off to a flying start just after I got there.

The favourite, ‘Lofty Len’ (he keeps pigeons), was the clear early leader down broad bean straight, making good use of the soft going. ‘Effing Phil’ (who swears alot) soon caught him, but pulled up limping near the cabbage patch, and was last seen inventing new swear words in his shed. ‘Cucumber Col’ (always grows the biggest) turned out to be a bit of a dark horse, and came from behind to the front of the pack. Not to be outdone however, the ‘Merry Tiller’ (he’s always so  happy !) made a  strong late run to be declared the overall winner. Unfortunately, failing a drugs test he was later stripped of the title, but at least we now know what those ‘exotic’ plants are in his polytunnel and why he's so bloody happy all the time.

Yes it’s that time of the year again folks, when the rotovators come out.

Whilst appreciating the effectiveness of these modern day machines, the noise and fumes emitted from them negate what allotmenteering’s all about for me, fresh air and quietness.

I prefer to dig by hand, which is just as well seeing as I don't own a rotovator, and find it quite satisfying turning the earth on an autumnal morning, at a gentle pace of about 30 groans per minute.

Occasionally stopping to survey the results of my sweated labour, I’ll look upon the scene with a sense of wonder.....just where do all those large stones keep coming from each year ? And whilst lamenting the lack of toilet facilities on the site, nip in the shed for a quick pee.

No, you can keep your white man’s machines as far as I'm concerned, I’m sticking to the old method as long as I can.

Now I must go and find that Merry Tiller, I need to see him about some, ahem, seeds.