The Christening

Following on from the last post.

Family and friends gathered at the old village church with intermittent sun highlighting Forget- me-nots and Bluebells in the church grounds, and a threat of rain in the clouds above.


The glum regular parishioners eyed our merry group with some suspicion as we entered the church, until they spotted the beautiful Emma in all her christening finery to melt their hearts and remind them there was a baptism that day, some even smiled.

In true Church of England style, the building was freezing, and our breaths “like pious incense rose”, as the poem says. I know they are down to their last £500 million at the moment, but you'd have thought they’d put the heating on for half an hour for us hypocritical non-regulars, we are just not used to it. After all, some of these poor people should have still been in bed nursing a hangover from Saturday night.

The service went without any hitches, and Emma behaved impeccably throughout, until the vicar poured the water on her head. She didn’t cry however, but gave him a look that was a mixture of bewilderment and indignation, and if she could speak I’m sure she would have been saying, “What do you think you’re doing, you idiot?”

Of course it was down to Grandad to provide the entertainment, and he duly obliged.

At the end of the service, the Vicar made his way down the aisle shaking hands with everybody in the congregation. As he got to me he held out his hand and said “Pleased to meet you”. A little strange I thought, but how nice, so I warmly shook his hand and repeated “Pleased to meet you” back to him. He smiled, but looked a bit perplexed.

Back at the family gathering I noticed a small group, including my daughter, laughing quite loudly and looking in my direction, so I sidled over to see what the joke was.

“You know when you shook the vicar’s hand……what did you say to him”? She asked.

“Pleased to meet you”, I said, “like he said to me”.

“No he didn’t”, she told me, laughing even louder by now, “he was saying……. Peace Be With You”.

Ooops.